Let go control - a challenge for women in the pipeline
Helen Johnson, an executive woman in the C-Suite works full time while her husband, Martin looks after the two children and works as a writer from home. Helen commented that she is frustrated with Martin who doesn’t seem to hang or fold the clothing correctly. For many women, this challenge is not new.
Two-thirds of Australia’s working-age couples are dual earners. With the impact of COVID-19 lock downs in Australia and similarly, the world recently, women are carrying more unpaid loads, juggling paid work, home-schooling their children and worrying about household duties.
There is no doubt that husbands or partners play an important part in sharing household duties. As they participate in getting household duties done each time e.g. folding the clothings, some women may find that it is different from the way they fold. Some women may find that this is not what they are expecting and started to get frustrated.
*We are scholars with expertise in researching and mentoring women for over 30 years. We have constantly come across women in senior management who discussed at length about work and family lives and how they tried to keep a balance on both sides. Based on my research on Career Success, my participants of thirty-one executive women considered the importance of work and lifestyle as part of an ‘overall package’, and ‘having a strong professional career and having a strong family career’ that lead them to a successful career in the research that is conducted in Western Australia.
The thirty-one executive women described their career as a process of pushing beyond standard work boundaries and challenges in order to attain a sustainable balance in their lives. Thus, to create the balance means to implement a practical system at work and at home. At home, it means requiring assistance from their partners. In this article, we expose women’s true identity in their pursuit of balancing.
Women are met with many challenges and opportunities at work in return for meaningful work such as making a difference, having an influence, being recognised for their work and financial independence comes at a cost. The cost of long hours at work and less time doing house duties and/or childcare are key factors that women faced. Household tasks and childcare have to be shared with your partner. How it plays out in each other’s lives to maintain a stable relationship is critical.
Shared duties
In Australia, it is found that partners who are supportive of women’s careers play an integral role in this process, with childcare and housework responsibilities being shared. With some partners, they volunteered to stay at home with the children or worked part-time as they recognised their wife or partner’s careers and took steps to support it. This means these women have more time to commit themselves to their careers. Based on our research, these women in senior roles had this to say about sharing duties at home:
He was educated to do housework…So, some tasks he’s better at or enjoys more than I do, he does, and I do others.
We talk frequently around our work-life balance because he stays at home and looks after the kids and as many challenges that I have at work with being in a male-dominated environment.
Our children are only 5 and 3. I don’t feel I’m missing out, that my husband and I have struck that balance.
Women may find themselves frustrated with the completed work or decided to take over. The frustration could be due to the fact that many women would like to do certain things at home, e.g. baking, gardening or sewing. These are things that they have good memories of from their childhood days. As they are now in the corporate talent pipeline, some women may find that it is difficult to spend time in. Thus, control may be the way to go at home. They do not trust their partners to follow up “properly”.
Women should start trusting their partners at house at home. Let the partners have a go. Let them do it their way. If women do not let go and start trusting their partners and give them the freedom to do what is needed. It is a battle women face. Is it because of how women and men are brought up as part of societal expectations? As a full time employed woman, what is your priority?
Let go of control -pipeline
Then, let go of control. Let go of that battle. Instead, bring in trust and feel the freedom. Like anyone else, we like to have ownership, give the ownership to your partner and it is then you and your partner will have a well-balanced lifestyle and you can commit fully to your career.
Let go of control – recommendations
1. Clear and transparent communication with your husband/partner. Sitting down and having a heart to heart talk is worthwhile instead of putting strains on the relationship.
2. Finding the best solution. It’s important to find the best solution for you and your family.
3. The challenge and the good news for women in the corporate talent pipeline, is that this is something you can do something with yourself. It is a choice.
* Dr Tracy Hopkins
*Professor Emeritus Morten Huse (BI Norwegian Business School, Norway)